![]() You should have marked down a three-stroke penalty for conduct unbecoming a golfer.Īfter striking your first putt, Trevor, you approached the windmill (ignoring signage that advised against such action) and thrust your crotch forward as you shouted, “Help, Jason, this windmill’s chopping my dick off!” This was obviously a lie. While this did not preclude me from sinking my difficult putt, the family of four behind us did not seem to appreciate it. For this, you should have incurred another one stroke penalty.Īs I lined up my sixth and final putt, you went back to the lion and simulated performing oral sex on his tail. The Lion Tamer (Hole 7, Par 3, additional infraction)Īs I lined up my second putt, you stood behind the lion and humped his buttock. You should have penalized yourself one stroke for positioning yourself in the putter’s line of vision. You should be penalized for the following:Īs I entered my backswing, you held your putter perpendicular to your cargo shorts zipper and said, “Jason, look how big my dick is.” You should have penalized yourself two strokes for distracting a fellow golfer in the act of putting.Īs I attempted to line up my first putt, you simulated masturbating the lion’s tail. But I contend that you committed several infractions that typically incur additional strokes which you did not assign yourself. Since this is a formal complaint, I’ll be sending a carbon copy to Marty, the clerk at the Pro Shop & Sno Cone Stand who checked us in before our game.Īt the end of our match play, you signed a scorecard of 49 strokes, which handily beat my score of 62. I am writing today to file a petition regarding our miniature golf match last Saturday.
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